I am often asked to speak about being an Arab in a not-a-good-time-to-be-an-Arab age. When I do I always struggle with the opening joke. A friend of mine came to me rescue at a conference in Dallas. “Tell them a camel joke,” he said, with all seriousness in his eye. He continued: “you know, you are from the Middle East, what could be funnier?” What my friend did not realize was the fact that the first camel I saw was in Tennessee at the Knoxville Zoo.
To sum up to people in this country what is like to live here while being Arab would be like describing a Confederate soldier at a party with Union soldiers after the civil war. Some will ignore him, a few will go out of their way to make him feel comfortable, and a couple might actually take a shot at him…hopefully only using the tongue as a weapon.
What follows are the ten misconceptions about Arabs which I have personally encountered, and still do. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the events of 9/11, and the endless bloodshed in Israel, Lebanon, and Palestine have left people with an extremely one-sided, sensualized, and plain-wrong idea of the make-up of the Arab people.
1- Arabs do not ride camels to work: I grew up in Kuwait, then moved to Damascus, the city of my birth at age 12. Eventually I left Syria for the United States at age 18. In my 18 years in the Middle East, I have never seen a camel. I read about them, saw them on TV, and even had friend who had seen one. For the most part, my back yard included cats and dogs, just like they do here. It did not include big animals with humps, which also spit at you.
2- Arabs are not terrorists: I was attending a wedding in Sacramento California last year for a friend of mine. I during the rehearsal dinner, the bride’s father came up to me, and with an inquisitive look he said: “Are you a terrorist?” That was hardly the first time I have been asked that question, but considering that the bride was a close friend of mine baffled me. I looked at him trying to decipher his attitude: was it joke? Please God, let it be a joke. It was not…he continued his inquisitive look into my eyes waiting for an answer. “No sir, I am not a terrorist,” I said, and then just quietly walked away. Some Arabs have inflicted terrorist acts against humanity, but so have everyone else. Being Arab does not automatically make you capable of hurting people. I know some Arabs that will not swat a fly because it has a “soul”.
3- Arabs are not all Muslim: once a month someone will ask me what Islam is like. I turn around and ask them: “what makes you think I am a Muslim?” Arabs comprise an extremely diverse religious background. Most are Muslim, but a fair percentage is Christian of all denominations. I did grow up Muslim. But after living here for 23 years, I have become to adore Christianity enough to call it mine…and I am very tolerant of many other faiths. I walked to school in Damascus for a mile every day passing two mosques and a church all on the same street. In my senior year, we spent more time that I can remember in my friend’s neighborhood of Bab-Touma. For an odd reason at the time, the girls in that section of town were the prettiest. I was never told by anyone that Bab-Touma was the “Christian” part of town…that was not an issue…pretty girls though…That was definitely the issue for a group of teenage boys. Christian in the Arab world means a mix in the blood line between East and West. We all know the result of a mixture of blood lines: pretty girls!
4- Arabs are not “simple/uneducated” people: My father died at age 88 two years ago leaving a legacy behind him. He was the Poet Laureate of Syria for many years, and wrote over twenty books about Arabic literature. He was honored by the Life Time Achievement Award the year before his death for his efforts to preserve the Arabic language. We are people with education standards that rival and surpass many other countries. I attended the University of Tennessee and majored in Engineering. Arabs were extremely popular as study partners because things like Calculus are thought in Ninth grade in most Arabic countries.
5- Arabs do not all look alike: I was attending a Christmas party here in Birmingham last year which included many of the city’s most influential and educated people. I started a conversation with a man who resembled my father. I was intrigued and I told him about the resemblance. We then exchanged pleasantries about our origins and families, then he added: “Why do Arabs all look the same?” I was taken back just like with the terrorist question at the wedding. I said: “Actually, I doubt we do…” and moved on. People of foreign origin might all look similar because we have the human urge is to lump them into one small category we can label.
6- Arabs have desserts, but they also have cities: Growing up in Damascus was not much different than growing up in New York. Damascus is a city of 5 million people with a downtown that resembles Manhattan. It would take us more than an hour to find a parking spot whenever we were stupid enough to drive downtown. Once we found a spot, we left the car there a long time just to enjoy the sweetness of the event. You would almost want to just sit there and watch your car parked on one of the busiest street in the Syrian Capital, until the tow truck came!
7- Arabs eat more than Falafels and Humus: The next time someone says: “Oh..I love Humus, when they learn I come from an Arab descent; I am going to say: Oh…are you American? I love burgers!” I grew up eating incredible food my mother, the best cook in the world, put on our table. And Humus was rarely on that table. The Arabian cuisine reflects the diverse geographic influences of twenty countries, which border Asia, Europe, and Africa as well as most bodies of water on this planet.
8- Speaking of geography…will you please look at a map? During my 23 years in this country, I have been asked if Syria was in South America, near Fiji, in Europe, in South Africa, close to Russia, and somewhere near Israel. I cannot count the times where I had to draw the Middle East on a bar napkin. I can understand the fact that this country is huge and diverse and very self-sufficient in many things. I am very thankful I live in a country, which for the most part, embraces freedom for its people. What I cannot understand is what makes the rest of the world so eager to know about other countries, while some people I this country are content with a more limited knowledge of this world.
9- Arabs are insanely loving people: I remember seeing my dad cry at the sight of mom on the balcony watering the flowers. I asked him why he is tearing up…looked at me and said: “Have you ever seen a more beautiful creature?” At age ten, I thought he was talking about the flowers…”Weird..” I said and walked away. If you have never dated an Arab or a Mediterranean, you have missed seeing your partner happy to give his or her life for you. My tenth grade was devoted to a neighbor of mine named Sahar, an Arabic word which means magic. And magic she had. I was an A student with some B’s, thrown around just for good luck, during my 9th, 11th, and 12th years; the tenth was dedicated to Sahar. My parents tried everything they knew off, but I was totally dysfunctional. Now that I have been single for five years, I have finally put some walls up to guard my heart, but they are made of glass. My dad, Mr. Poet, told me that my heart was like a piece of land, every time it gets hurt, the land is tilled; and is better suited for the next harvest.
10- Arabs are not the enemy: Ignorance is. The more we know about each other, the more peaceful our lives will be. The flip side to all the violence around us is that it is making people desire to learn more. And with learning, barriers crash and enemies based on ignorance tolerate each other. I went scuba diving in the Caribbean while I was on a cruise a few years ago, after I woke up late one day and, how do you say…hung-over? I saw this big Manatee approach me. I turned to look for my partner seeking refuge since she had scuba dived for years, but she was gone. I was fifty feet below the surface all alone with this giant thing, which was coming to eat me for breakfast. All I could think off was what an awful way to die. I started remembering the details of the morning and how bad my headache was, and how I did not want to scuba dive. My friend was insistent, so we did…and now it is going to be over. I knew nothing about these animals. I knew what to do in case you see a shark, besides praying, but Manatees? What were these things…what did they eat? That was the question hovering between my eyes and my foggy goggles. I stayed still and looked at the giant. She got close. I would like to think it was a she, somehow that made things a little better…she got close and started swimming all around me. I could see the spear in the tail, I could have touched it. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. The gorgeous body of this giant was gliding through the water with no resistance…and no wake. It was as if she was made of water as well…the two surfaces, her body, and the water, were molten together at touch. You hear about magical moments though out your life, and this was definitely one. The giant swam around me several times, and then hovered. I took a breath thinking she was going to unleash the spear. But it just glided away as if to say: “no…you don’t look yummy enough…and your breath…did you brush your teeth this morning?” I hurried to the top counting my blessings. It was not until a few years later that I realized, what terrified me about the Manatee was my ignorance of everything about it. Now that I have read all you could fin about that elegant creature, I look forward to another encounter. And I will brush my teeth!